8 September 2010, 11:42 pm
Mother in law FEUD- advice needed please!? I have NO IDEA why my mom hates my wife so much. My mom and wife never had a great relationship. She was always resentful and judgemental that my wife had an affair to be with me and left her husband. We met while she was my employee (married) and fell in love. She married young, had a husband for two years- no kids when I met and fell in love with her. We got together, and have been a commited couple for 10 years, married 5. Since we met, I have sold my business and moved far away with my wife, My mom has always said rude things to her and brought up our afffair and called my wife names.At times they are civil and I think they have a shot at friendhsip, but bitterness prevails over the years. 10 years later, mom is not much involved with us. I BOUGHT her a plane ticket to visit our son (now 3 1/2 years old) while my wife was carrying our second baby. I thought since the boat hadn't been rocked lately, we could rebuild a family relationship. While visiting, my wife entertained her while I was at work. They seemed to get along fine, even enjoying one another, then mom got kinda weird one morning, started complaining about me not having time for her, arguing that the kids are closer with my wife's family, and then told me she sees problems with my wife's parenting (for the record she is a wonderful mom!) :) I told my wife mom was being weird and arguing about the kids and her. I can't believe it- but my wife she confronted her and asked her what she had to say about her parenting, and that no one should judge another mom unless they want to look in the mirror. Apparently that flew like a lead balloon, and my mom hid in her room for two days. Upset I didn't defend her, accusing my wife of verbally attacking her. The next morning I asked her to come out of the bedroom, and I confronted her and her rudeness for hiding and saying rude things- she continued to bash my wife, blamed her for calling her parenting out, and then proceeded to call my wife a WHORE who had an affair. My wife walked in the room, (probably shouldnt have) and demanded she leave, and that she will not call her a whore in her own home. She then defended herself, told my mom she has respected her throughout the years as many times as she has spoken that way about her, and that she would not tolerate it anymore-especially in our home. My mother slammed the door in my wife's face. My wife opened it, told her she was a ***** and to get out. My mom then told me my wife will soon cheat on me and that she is an adultress. Then she said "I hope she dies." I had no choice but to defend my wife. I stuck by her demand to request my mom leaves. She finally left via taxi after remianing locked in her room for several hours. She did not say goodbye to our son, and as she left she told me one day I will regret this, and that it will all be my wive's fault.. It has been 9 months. I have rarely spoken to her. When there is contact, it results in a fight where she says my wife owes HER an apology, and that she doesnt owe her one. My mom said she can't believe I kicked her out, and that she thought we had a special type of mother son relationship. She then said my wife dresses scantily and flaunts herself, etc. For the record, my wife is attractive and has a great figure, but as far as other men go- it has never been an issue. We are both homebodies and my wife is a commited mother and partner. She has never once made me question faithfulness, despite mom's ongoing claims she will cheat on me, 10 yrs later... I miss my mom, and can't understand why she feels like the victim. She really is adament that my wife is at fault. She feels that she owes her zero apology, and my wife will not apologize to her, since this is not the first time my mom has screamed at her like this. I know my wife would forgive her if mom would just apologize. I really feel like I will never have a realtionship with my mom now. I told her until she says sorry, we're kind of done- I never thought almost 10 months later mom would still be insisting my wife is wrong and would rather cut me off than apologize. Who was wrong here? Wife or mom? I have no problem standing by my wife, but I am resentful she ever confronted mom, since this is my mom's personality. Now my mom said my wife started the war, and has to apologize. I know my mom will NEVER apologize to my wife. She feels violated my wife confronted her and thinks my wife disrespected her. Who's to blame? Why won't my mom apologize to my wife just to have me back in her life? Does she not love me? What is the REAL reason she hates my wife?... Read More »
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